My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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