bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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