Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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