Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
