I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize