Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
