About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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