Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
