i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
