Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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