did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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