Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
