Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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