That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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