Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
