She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
