He felt like a one man threesome
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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