There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
