i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
