Already got asked if we're dating
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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