True but thats because hes a fetus.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
