how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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