i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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