My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
