Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
