Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize