week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
