Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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