Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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