dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
