have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
