nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize