I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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