this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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