well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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