why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
