Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
