Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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