Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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