I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
