She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
