i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
