My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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