is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
