is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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