your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize