I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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