last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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