im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
