He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
