I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
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I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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