Christians are straight up FREAKS
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize