i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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