Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
