Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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