I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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