When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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