I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
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Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
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Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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