You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Actions speak louder than pants.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
