Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize