I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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