In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The feeling are messing with the penis
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
