Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
