even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
