I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
