Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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