I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
